I can remember a time when walking to our table at restaurants, Brantley would engage his “go-go-gadget arms” and manage to grab food from strangers plates as we walked by. I was always mortified and while I always offered to replace their food, people would just laugh it off.
They thought it was cute, he was little, and they didn’t see him as anything other than a small child who didn’t understand social rules and etiquette yet.
I always knew that wouldn’t last. But it came crashing down much sooner than I anticipated and I can remember the distinct moment, people stopped thinking that way.
We were at a party when 5 year old Brantley grabbed a cookie from another child. I apologized to the mother, explaining Brantley's lack of understanding, and offered a replacement. In response, the woman snarkily retorted that neither she nor her daughter understood why he would just take her cookie.
That’s when I realized the tide had turned.
Brantley wasn’t small anymore. People didn’t see him as someone who just didn’t understand anymore. They saw him only for his behaviors which stood out for a child his age. The shift in perception was palpable and it left a lasting impact on me.
That one interaction stopped us from going to restaurants and gatherings for a long time. It stopped us from spreading autism awareness, because that is the best way to refer to outings with my impulsive, always hungry boy with a mischievous grin.
Now, we have more tools in our arsenal. We can usually stop his go-go-gadget arms from engaging, and when we don’t, I simply apologize, offer a replacement, and explain his diagnosis before going on my way, knowing we do our part to spread a little autism awareness wherever we go.
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