Challenging Conversations: Navigating Developmental Disabilities and the Need for Understanding

I have debated posting this. However, I am stepping out to discuss a common behavior in the developmental disabilities community. It is one that can often be misconstrued and is a sensitive subject. It is my hope that you will read forward with grace and understanding.

I once heard the statement “loving a child with Autism is easy, keeping them dressed is the hard part,” that statement resonates with me because it's undeniably true. We struggle daily with keeping Brantley dressed and I fear everyday for what that means for his future.

Some individuals with Autism and other developmental disabilities lack an understanding of the inappropriateness of exposing themselves in public. Unfortunately, the broader public often lacks awareness of how developmental disabilities may impact ones behaviors. The two make a terrifying combination for the future of boys in the developmental disabilities community.

Several years ago, a controversial post surfaced on a Facebook page for mothers in our area. The post, discussed a situation involving a man with developmental disabilities engaging in inappropriate behavior in public. In short, he was touching himself.

The comments under that thread brought about so many emotions from mothers terrified for their daughters. For me, it made me terrified for Brantley and the rest of the community with developmental disabilities.

Though I do not condone public exposure or inappropriate self-touching, the situation is not as clear cut as it may seem. Individuals with developmental disabilities often struggle with social cues and lack a full understanding of their actions. Regrettably, it's not uncommon for some people with conditions like Autism to exhibit inappropriate touching or disrobing in public locations. These behaviors primarily stem from a lack of comprehension about suitable times and places and a need for sensory exploration rather than ill intent.

While I never excuse inappropriate behaviors such as those referenced above, the myriad of mothers demanding that the man in their posts be “castrated” and “rot away in prison” are wrong. While, I agree 100% that his actions need to be stopped; the man does not need to be castrated or placed in prison; he needs resources for those with developmental disabilities. More specifically he needs a caregiver and mental health resources.

I don’t know the solution to help individuals with developmental disabilities understand that such behaviors should be private, but I pray daily for a resolution. In the meantime, I remain vigilant in keeping Brantley clothed, using the tightest belt possible, in the hopes that he will never face the same criticism and comments as the man in our small town.