There is a common saying in the Autism community that Autism doesn’t come with a manual it comes with a parent who doesn’t give up. That parent also never stops filling out paperwork. These forms, which highlight everything your child cannot do, serve a vital purpose in proving necessity of services to our insurance company and schools. As a mom whose child does not meet traditional milestones, these forms are nothing short of emotionally abusive.
Every day, I consciously choose to focus on Brantley's strengths and remarkable qualities, but on paperwork days, I must set aside my optimism and provide a brutally honest assessment of Brantley's limitations.
These forms do not care that Brantley can brighten any room with his smile and connect with people through his profound eye contact and facial expressions. Instead, they require me to explicitly state that my eight-year-old cannot drink from a regular cup and needs full assistance with bathing. They don't inquire about his infectious laughter while jumping on the trampoline or how heartwarming his spontaneous hugs are; instead, they focus on his inability to write his name and ride a bicycle.
Each time I complete the forms, I end in the same manner, tears rolling down my face as I reflect on all the things my joyful boy can't accomplish. I think of all the things his peers can do, that he cannot. Then I picture that ornery grin and am reminded that he is happy. It doesn’t matter that he cannot ride a bike, bathe himself or drink from an open cup, he is happy and as a mom that means I’ve done something right.
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