There is a quote floating around by Eileen Lamb that says “You can be sad about your child’s diagnosis and still love them with every fiber of your being.”
This should be normalized.
Unfortunately, a large portion of the population have a skewed perspective of Autism and many people only see Autism as a blessing.
Brantley is the blessing in our lives; Autism, on the other hand, presents its own set of challenges. They are distinct entities – his presence is cherished, while the difficulties posed by Autism are acknowledged as a separate, challenging aspect of his life.
I know everyone says we shouldn’t say that, that we can’t share the hard stuff because acknowledging the hard stuff somehow means we don’t love our children. But, that couldn’t be more untrue. Sharing the difficult aspects of Autism doesn’t diminish the depth of my love for Brantley.
My love for Brantley is immeasurable; I can't fathom a world without him being who he is. Yet, at the same time I see his struggles – the missed experiences, the level of work required to achieve the he simplest milestones, the dangers in elopement and pica, and the frustration of communication barriers. If I am being honest, it’s these items that sadden me.
So I’m here to share it.
I hope to normalize the idea that parents can mourn their child's diagnosis and still deeply love their child. It's a process I've embraced for seven years. While I've come to accept Brantley's diagnoses, there are moments when they still evoke sadness, and that's perfectly okay because your child is so much more than their diagnosis.
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