I love my role as a mom. It’s the best title I have ever had and a job I pour so much love into.
But Mother’s Day - a whole day meant to honor the boundless love of mothers? It always stir’s up a mix of emotions for me.
Maybe it's that my reality as a special needs mother doesn't quite fit the portrayal of a day of celebration of blissful breakfasts and heartfelt cards and handmade crafts.
Most days, I feel like I handle my role as a special needs mom with grace. But every year on Mother’s Day, that sense of grace seems to slip away. It's the one day when Brantley’s silence hurts the most. The one day when knowing Brantley won't say "Happy Mother’s Day" or "I love you" brings physical pain.
Perhaps it's because the day serves as a stark reminder of the dreams I once had for Brantley—dreams that will likely never materialize. It's a day colored by grief for the experiences he may never get to have—like seeing him drive, get married, or buy his first house.
While many moms revel in a day of rest on Mothers Day, for special needs moms, like myself, it’s often just another day immersed in the same caretaking demands we face every other day. Ultimately, it’s the endless caretaking that we both love and hate that magnifies the feelings of isolation and exhaustion that many moms of special needs children experience.
So, as Mother’s Day approaches, I acknowledge the bittersweet reality of the unique journey we, as special needs moms, are on.
It’s not always easy, and it’s certainly not always joyful. But amidst the struggles and heartaches, there remains a profound love— a love that sustains us and gives meaning to every moment, no matter how
challenging. And maybe that love, is what Mother’s Day is really about. #autismfamily #autismlife #disability #autismparents #mothersday
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