When you have a child with special needs, stepping back can feel like an insurmountable challenge. For years, my 9-year old Brantley attended church with our family, but instead of joining his brother in the children's program, I would bring him with me into the service.
He has profound autism and I couldn't bear to place the responsibility of his care on someone else. The fear of his safety, and the safety of others, weighed heavily on my mind. How would he be treated? Would others understand his needs?
Brantley was 7 before I finally mustered the courage to start integrating him into the children's program. This decision was met with apprehension and worry, but I knew deep down it was necessary for his growth and development. So 2 years ago, I started sending Brantley to our church’s children’s program with him securely strapped into his medical stroller.
There has been a lot of growth in those 2 years, in both Brantley and myself. Each evening this week, I have excitedly dropped Brantley off with his group of 4th, 5th, and 6th graders for Vacation Bible School. I’ve carefully explained his behaviors and tendencies to his leaders, particularly his inclination to bite and went on with my tasks for the evening.
Each night, I have been flooded with questions on how to best serve him and comments about how much they are enjoying Brantley. I’ve had leaders share his successes with me and I’ve seen countless kids give my wild man high fives and hugs at the conclusion of each night. The love and acceptance pouring into my boy has warmed my heart beyond measure.
Yet, the true reward lies in witnessing the joy on Brantley's face.
Brantley has never been much of a people person, he has lived his life off in his own world tuning out everyone around him, but giving him the space to simply be a kid in a supportive environment has brought out the best in him and everyone around him. He watches his peers intently, he dances in his chair, he runs the obstacle courses with an aide holding his hand or a friend pushing his chair, he is involved.
Stepping back from the constant role of caregiver to allow my boy this chance was difficult. It meant confronting my own fears and insecurities about Brantley's well-being. However, seeing the positive impact has affirmed that this was the right choice.
Sometimes, letting go is the greatest act of love and trust we can offer our children. #autismfamily #autismlife #autismparenting
Comments