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raisingbrantley

The Longest Ride of My Life

Every morning, I put my son Brantley on a bus bound for his autism-specific school. It’s an incredible place—one that truly understands and supports him in ways I could never have imagined. But there’s one drawback: it’s 30 miles away.


Today, those 30 miles felt like a million miles.


Brantley's bus pulled out of our driveway like clockwork, with him safely strapped into his harness.


One hour and 20 minute’s later, I got a message that stopped me in my tracks. “Good morning! Brantley hasn’t arrived yet, and since he’s usually here by now, we wanted to check in and see if he is running late?”


I read the message over and over, not quite believing what I was seeing. My heart sank, and panic took hold.


Where was he?


I immediately called the bus garage.


No answer.


I tried again, multiple times. Nothing.


I started running through worst-case scenarios in my head, my stomach in knots. I called my husband. I texted Brantley's bus driver. I messaged other drivers I know from the garage, hoping someone—anyone—could give me an answer.


Finally, I reached someone at the bus garage who was able to give me a sliver of information. They could track Brantley's bus and confirm it was on, but stopped on a freeway. They had no way to contact the driver. It turns out that their communication system does not work when the bus is so far from the garage, and the drivers aren't permitted to use their cell phones while en route.


I was frantic. My heart was beating out of my chest and my hands were shaking. I felt helpless.


Finally, 2 hours after Brantley’s bus left our driveway, I got the message I had been praying for. Brantley had arrived at school.


The culprit? Traffic. It had come to a standstill for more than an hour.


The relief was overwhelming, but the fear still lingers. Today, I was reminded how vulnerable I feel, sending Brantley 30 miles away each day. There’s so much out of my control, and when something goes wrong, that distance seems insurmountable.


Still, I know he’s in the best possible place. And even though days like today shake me to my core, I’ll keep putting him on that bus each morning—trusting the journey. #autismfamily #autismlife #autismparents #specialneedsmom #specialneedsparents


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